It’s 0800 hours this morning, it still quite dark, its wet, and we are already at Aldi. It’s time for Christmas food shopping. This is the second “Big Shopping Trip” – the future of Sainsbury’s is already secure thanks to a “Big Shopping Trip” by Chantal last week. The shops will all be open on 24th December, the shops will all be open on 26th December, but we must buy enough food to last a month long siege, just in case.
Aldi is already busy, and the plan is to shop and be out again within a few minutes. I can do this, armed with a list, but my wife doesn’t do lists. She likes to browse. Browsing in a shoe shop I can understand, browsing in a clothes shop is to be expected, but in a supermarket? Nevertheless phase 1 of the trip is completed in 30 minutes.
Phase 2 involves crossing the road to Waitrose for a pork pie for Andree. Chantal breaks into an unexpected run on the zebra crossing, taking me by surprise, and I am briefly left behind. At the deli counter (Waitrose pre-wrapped pies were not good enough) Chantal asks “Would you like some tongue?”. “No” I reply. “You like tongue” she says, “How many slices and how thick?” The deli assistant is now waiting for me to make a decision on a product that I don’t want, and I randomly decide on three thin slices. Chantal asks why I only want three slices, and why thinly sliced? Since I am not sure what the correct answer is, I say nowt. Chantal then happily gossips with the checkout operator – we have sprinted to the shop, clearly in a rush, and Chantal is chatting about the duration of the girls shift, and the opening times over Christmas – purely rhetorical, since we have sufficient supplies to last until Easter.
We run back to the car, and we set off for Phase 3 – another trip to Sainsbury’s, arriving just in time to find a parking space. Sainsbury’s is very busy, but at least you get a nice polite class of customer. I get into trouble for wandering off while Chantal browses, but then I am given permission to go to find the toothpaste. I receive a text from my sister Pauline that needs a reply, and when subsequently I eventually locate my wife (I phone her just as she phones me, and I almost drop my mobile when it rings loudly against my ear) she queries how long it takes to choose toothpaste. I resist the temptation to tell her that I was browsing.
I am not allowed to wander off again – I have to stand and guard the trolley while Chantal does the wandering. A passing lady says “You’ve been told to stop there and not move, haven’t you?” Maybe at the end of every aisle there is a husband and trolley not daring to move.
Grocery shopping complete, I treat myself to the best bargain of the day – Sainsbury’s Big Breakfast, £3.99. Chantal opts for a Clotted Cream Tea – an odd choice since it’s still only 10.00am. I feel we’ve earned it.
Technically we live in Oaktree House, but sadly the tree had to go.
We now have a thriving Oakstump at the front of the house.
